Karla Johnson

Karla Vey Johnson

My sweet, sweet mom passed away on February 22, 2021. I knew this day was coming, she had been on Hospice for a while, I thought I was prepared. I have written and rewritten this obituary a handful of times. It just never seemed to do her life justice. I mean where do you begin? What do people want to know and more importantly how do you fit into the column of a newspaper what your mom meant to you, to your family and to the many friends and co-worker's she has had over her life time. I even Googled, "HOW TO WRITE AN OBITUARY" and, I was not surprised to find many templates on Google, a sort of "Mad Libs" fill in the blanks - enter education here ________ and adjective there__________. I shut off the computer, and instead put pen to paper. My mom's life would never fit inside a Mad Lib Template.

My mom was many things to many different people. Maybe she was your sister, your aunt, your grandmother, your friend, your PEO Sister, your co-worker, your boss. But no matter the relation -you were her family, you were a square on her Life Quilt. But this is my version, so, here is what I want you to know about MY MOM. Here is her story, told through the eyes of a very loved and grateful daughter:

She was born in Liberal Kansas on 4/9/49 - an easy birthday to remember, which I needed to repeat so many times later on in her life. Her parents were both educators, Dr. Estes Everett Firestone and Gertrude Pearl Firestone.  She was their second oldest of four daughters. These four sisters would later become known as the Firestone Fearsome Foursome. (Real names omitted to protect their identity. Ha ) My mom met my dad, Phil Johnson while at Oklahoma University. Go SONNERS. They were married in September 1969. My sister Heather was born in 1970, and wait for it, this is when the story gets good -I, Brittany "The Favorite" arrived in 1972. Our little family was complete. She graduated from OU (again, GO SOONERS) in 1972 with her nursing degree. A degree that for over 40 + years would be her true life's calling. My dad was in the United States Air Force (Thank you Dad for your service) so we moved from Oklahoma, to Texas and finally ended up in Utah, which is a A Pretty, Great State in 1977 and we never left.

My Mom went to work for a new hospital that had just been built in Layton Utah - Davis Hospital and Medical Center. Insert Fun Fact here: Davis Hospital was the only employer my mom ever had in Utah. This was her true home as it contained her heart and soul. She was a surgical/peds nurse, diabetic educator, and the last decade or so of her career she was the Quality "MOM" Director. Many of her process improvements are still in place today because "why fix what isn't broke". "What Would Karla do?" is still a sentence echoed at the hospital. (I know all this to be true, as I work at this hospital too - more on that later). She ran a tight ship, but a good ship. She demanded accountability and did not like excuses.  She was firm but fair. She would call you out if necessary, but you usually deserved it, best be prepared for a meeting. You did not want to disappoint her. But she was always respectful and was truly respected for this. She would lock the boardroom door when the meeting started. If you were late, well, better be on time next time. Patient care was top priority, anything less was inexcusable. Her office was a fortress of papers, magazines, policies and binders. To many of us, this gave us anxiety walking in there, But to Mom, it was her pacifier, her col' blankie, and the shocker - SHE KNEW WHERE EVERYTHING WAS. You would ask for a memo or a document and she would literally say, "third stack of papers on the 7th filing cabinet about mid way down". And it was there. She built this Hospital, one patient care experience and one policy at a time. The best compliment I ever receive is "you are just like your mom".  She loved her hospital and the people in it.

I know I am rambling, but I warned you, this is my story. You can stop reading anytime.

We had an acre farm in Clinton. Great house, great location, even better neighbors. Best childhood you could ask for. My mom had plenty of space for her gardening and we had plenty of room and land to discover.  My childhood is full of memories of camping, Yellowstone Trips, OMG so many Yellowstone trips, working the farm, and being outside.  I remember my mom instilling the love of reading into my sister and I at an early age. As she would do laundry or sewing in the basement, we would real out loud to her. Little House on the Prairie series comes to mind.

Teenage years - I will skip those.  Not so pleasant for me, quite embarrassing actually. I was awful to my mom, LIKE AWFUL. I have since apologized a million times, and as you will soon find out, our relationship gets MUCH better.

After I got married, my mom gifted me the back half acre to build a house on. She was living alone, so this also benefited her, as my husband and I could help take care of her and the yard.  BEST DECISION EVER.  My mom quickly became my best friend. We would do co-op dinners, watched Survivor, Iron Chef or Amazing Race together. And when we were done she would just simply walk home. We shared life- guard duties (we had a pool), Summer ice cold beers or unsweetened ice tea after a hot day of yard work. (To be completely honest, mom and John did the yard work, I drank the iced tea. Ok fine, I drank the beer)  We had season tickets to Hale Theater, Saturday lunch and a movie were often on the agenda,  girl's pedicure days, she loved brown nail polish. My girl's would sneak up and scare her in the yard as she was listening to a "book on tape" in her walkman while weeding. Her costume box was always popular at Halloween and her pink garage fridge was always stocked with lemonade for the grandkids. She never missed a dance competition, or recital (Go Inspire) and so looked forward to Friday night high school football halftime routines. Go Titans and DL4L!!  She would wear the Team Attire with pride. She was so proud of my girls.

My first job at the hospital (started in 2002) was working weekend graves in the Emergency room. My husband also worked weekend graves. My mom slept on our couch during the weekend and watched my girls. She would take them to breakfast or lunch or the movie so we could get some sleep. Again this was for 1.5 years every weekend. WHO DOES THAT!! My mom. Who is this amazing, selfless, caring and compassionate person. Always very charitable and generous. I remember her buying a car for one of her employees as they needed a reliable form of transportation. Every year she would buy a decorated Christmas Tree from the Christmas Jubilee in Ogden and donate the tree to a needy family.  If you did not get her humor, there was something wrong with YOU, not her. She was charming, and had a Cheshire cat kind of grin when she was being mischievous. SHE WAS FUNNY, and in a quick witted, sarcastic, did-you-really-just-say-that kind of way. Her terms of endearment were usually swear words or the middle finger. A middle finger meant  - "Good Bye or I love you"  or she would make a snarky comment with a little wink. I am laughing  so hard right now writing this, THIS WAS SO MY MOM. She never meant to insult, but this truly her endearing/funny side. She gave unconditional love and always provided realistic advice.  She was very simple, nothing extravagant and an extremely private person.   She was courageous, strong and humble. She is probably upset that I am saying all these things, but hey, again, this is my story.  She was honest, sometimes to a fault. you knew where you stood with my mom, and sometimes it wasn't in a good spot, but she did not hold a grudge. Just be honest, accountable and apologize when you are wrong and all things forgiven.  She did things her way, on her terms. She made you want to do better, she expected hard work, and good moral character. I promoted to a Director position at the hospital, me over the providers, and her over ALL THINGS QUALITY. I secretly loved correcting her in meetings. It didn't happen often, so I took them when I could.  Life was amazing, and beautiful, and joyous and then August 24, 2010. The day that Changed Everything.

My older sister, Heather died in a plane crash in Nepal. Yes, Nepal. How does that even happen? She was going there to celebrate her 40th birthday - trekking to the base camp of Mount Everest. Now, I am going to get vulnerable here.  My sister was truly the Favorite. The good one. Heather was the water,  I was the vinegar. And I am okay with that. Heather was ALL THINGS that are good and kind in this world. I do have some good qualities, but my sister, well she was someone that was truly special. And the loss of my sister, my sweet mom never recovered, and I can't blame her. I lost a sister,  but that is not the same thing as losing a child.  And from that day forward, my role changed with my mom. I was still her daughter. But now I was Her caregiver, Her ROCK. Our roles had been reversed. I had to be strong and carry Her  now. It was just the two of us. The Girl's Only Club had lost their Bright Light. With mom's struggles, she had her first stroke in October 2012 and fully retired in February 2013.

Best Chapter Yet:

Through tragedy you find joy. You must find JOY or it will break you. Even though the Girls Only Club was smaller, it became more important. The Mission and Vision changed. You see things much differently through tragedy colored glasses: Colors are different, emotions become bigger, sometimes even raw emotions. You appreciate more, you slow down, savor the day. You become more patient, more positive, more giving, more aware of others needs. And in this Chapter TRUE LOVE GROWS. My relationship with my mom became EVERYTHING. And yes, THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER. That is odd you say, that I am picking this as my favorite chapter. This by far has been the hardest part of my life, but it has also brought me my greatest reward. My mom and I have become so close and I have had the opportunity to fully understand and to truly experience an amazing Mother/Daughter Friendship. Not a relationship, but a true, genuine, sincere FRIENDSHIP. One that needs the other to fill complete.

The Girls Only Club eventually did get its Bright Light back, in the form of my Granddaughter. Rowyn was born October 2014. This club needed new members. LIfe was again good, joyful, and full of beauty. My mom SO LOVED ROWYN. We NEEDED A ROWYN.

My mom's health declined slowly at first. And a few more smaller strokes meant moving into assisted living. After touring a handful of places she picked Chancellor Gardens. A place that has been her home for several years.

Routines and activities have changed over the years, depending on mom's health and abilities, but we always did something. We both looked forward to our together days.

With the lock- down of COVID, mom's health declined more rapidly. Hard to find joy through Window Visits and FaceTime.  We did what we could as all of us have done during this crazy year. People need people, my mom was no exception.

When I was able to get back in to visit, I visited almost daily, but Sundays were our favorite - MOVIE DAY. I would bring in a special lunch - anything from crab legs and shrimp to a KFC bowl.  I knew our time together was getting shorter, so I tried to bring in as many of her favorite meals as I could. And POPCORN.  She loved popcorn, unbuttered with extra salt - Diet Coke with Lime from Sonic.

I need to tell you my mom loved to read books. She would often be reading 3 or 4 at a time.  I don't know how she did that. This conversation happened often:

Me coming into her room as she is reading:

Me: "what ya reading?

Mom: Holds up book.

Me: "Is it any good"

Mom: "Not Particularly"

Me: "Then stop reading, don't waste your time"

Mom: "Nope. I'm committed to it at this point".

Me - after she finished the not-so-good book: "Did you end up liking it?

Mom - "Not particularly, but I finished it".

Now up to this point I have told you how she lived. Now I want to tell you how she died. It will make sense, I promise. With her strength weakening, movies were no longer an option, so again we changed our routine and activities. Weekends now turned into Story Time.  I bought her "Where the Crawdads Sing" for her last birthday and it was still on her side table. About a month ago I picked it up and started reading to her, just like when I was little. She didn't talk much at this point, but didn't need to. I always knew what she was saying with her eyes and small gestures. We held hands a lot. If I stopped reading she would look at me as if to say "hello... keep going". so I did.

Saturday, February 20th. I knew her time here was very limited, so I just read. My mom was mostly unresponsive. I would kiss her goodbye on her forehead and tell her "I will see you tomorrow and I will read some more"

Sunday, February 21. Read some more, still non-responsive. I kept reading. It really is a good book. Kissed her forehead, put chapstick on her tender lips. Said goodbye, "I will be back tomorrow to finish the book".

Still Sunday - Got THE CALL - mom is actively dying. I go back to her place. . Still non-responsive. I  said to mom "We've never talked about this part. I don't know if you want me here or not. I will stay and read some more. I will tell you when I leave and if you want to wait and pass while I am gone, I fully understand that too (Note - I have heard from many people, that sometimes they prefer to be alone, some are waiting to say goodbye. Mom and I have had a million tender moments these past 7 months. We had left nothing unsaid, all conversations and goodbyes were completed.)

Mom was still here, it was late in the night. Again, I kissed her forehead, more chapstick and told her - "I love you. If you are still here tomorrow, I will finish the book". I fully expected her to go Sunday night/early Monday morning.

Monday, February 22. Mom is still here. I head back to her place to be with her, but I forgot the book at home.  I call my brother in law and niece Amber, to give them mom's update. They all come up to say their goodbyes.  I casually tell Amber that I was almost done reading a book to her, but I accidentally left it at home.  Amber said "It's a really good book , very good ending" So i downloaded the book to my phone, and  Amber started reading the last several chapters. Her time with my mom. Moms breathing had slowed over the course of the morning, but was a steady slow. Amber finished the last chapter. It was indeed an unexpected ending, and within a minute after finishing the book, mom stopped breathing. She didn't just slow down, like we all had thought she would. She simply took her last breath and was gone.  Very peaceful. After a moment I laughed. Of Course. She was never waiting on me, it wasn't about me. It didn't matter if I was there or not.  Her and I had said all we needed to say. She was waiting for the end of the book. Her journey was over. End of Chapter. Very Karla-ish. How she died was how she lived. On her own terms. Had I only known that's what she was waiting for, I would have stayed the extra few hours the night before...Every Book She Finished.

Now the reason this is so long as mom did not want a funeral, no viewing. She wanted to be cremated and have a Beer and a BBQ. Her favorite thing to do with friends and family. A BBQ is hard to do this time of year so I will do this in the summer. And since no funeral, no real place for me to read her eulogy. So here it is.

I will try and let everyone know when her BBQ will be - her Celebration of Life. She did not want tears, only Joy. Her final resting place will be in the Lindquist "Garden of Reflection" section of Washington Terrace Cemetery. My mom so loved Gardens, well really anything with dirt. She will absolutely love this place.

My mom was unique and special and meant the world to me. God broke the mold with her.  Now onto her final Journey - but she does have one final stop along her way - I asked her not too long ago - "What are you gonna do when you get up there?" To which she replied - "I'm gonna pick you out a grandson. No pansy ass, I'm gonna pick you out a Warrior". And I know she will. Now it's my sweet, sweet sister’s time with our dear mother. What an incredible reunion. I am jealous actually.

"It takes a Village" - First, Symbii Home health and Hospice - True Angels on earth. Michelle, Michelle, Emily and especially Dani. My mom so LOVED DANI. Everyone at Chancellor Gardens.  I told my girls that If they don't put me here when I need assisted living, I am going to be very upset.  This place and these people are amazing and I LOVE THEM ALL. I will miss seeing you all and THANK YOU SO MUCH for loving my mom and taking such good care of her.

Brett -"Chevy Guy" who bought my mom’s 55 chevy and showed us that "Old things can become beautiful again. They just need LOVE". Your amazing family made her day with the car show and book. She told anyone who would listen to HER CAR STORY.

Beth - Not enough space or words to say an appropriate thank you. You helped with my mom for so many years and were such a good friend to her.  You took care of the "errands" with my mom, taking her to the library, cooking for her, the liquor store, post office SHOPKO, etc which made my time with her the "FUN TIMES".  - movies, plays,  lunch, etc. She truly valued your time together and your growing and continued friendship. She absolutely adored and loved you. You have some great funny memories.   I will never forget the Social Security Office story. I WOULD NEVER SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU. You are my one true soul mate.

My GIRLS -  Eryn, Rylee and Rowyn. MY WHOLE HEART. My mom was so proud of you guys and enjoyed every moment with you. Oh my goodness, all the memories. We will be laughing for ages. You ALL saved me every day and gave me strength during these last few months. I appreciate your unconditional love and support and for helping me, and giving me hugs (Rowyn gives the best hugs) when I needed them, letting me cry and for knowing when I just needed to be alone. It wasn't easy, it was often heartbreaking. I love you and THANK GOD for you three every day. The Girls Only Club is soon changing- Baby Ridge will need to step up his game if he wants to be included.

In lieu of flowers, please take a loved one to lunch, reach out to a friend. Go see your parents - Or give them an extra phone call. Window visits are just not enough. People need people. We need human connections.

I love you mom. Thanks for the great amazing Journey. I will miss you every day. Give my sister a hug. I promise, I can take it from here, I had a great mentor.

Forever your Grateful Daughter,

Love B