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A timely selection from My Care Letter, a free, monthly
publication from the funeral directors at Lindquist Mortuaries/Cemeteries.
When a loved one is dying or dies, there is a grieving process. Recovery is a slow and emotionally painful one. The grieving process can be less painful if you try to understand that loss and grief is a natural part of life. Learn to accept your loss and believe in yourself. Believe that you can cope with tragic happenings. Let your experience be a psychological growth process that will help you to deal with future stressful events. The grieving process usually consists of the following stages. Note that not everyone goes through all these stages.
Denial and Shock
At first, it may be difficult for you to accept
your own dying or the death of a loved one. As a result you will deny the reality
of death. However, this denial will gradually diminish as you begin to express
and share your feelings about death and dying with other family members or
friends.
Anger
During this stage the most common question asked is, “Why me?” You
are angry at what you perceive to be the unfairness of death and you may project
and displace your anger unto others. When given some social support and respect,
you will eventually become less angry and able to move into the next stage
of grieving.
Bargaining
Many individuals try to bargain with some sort of
deity. They probably try to bargain and offer to give up an enjoyable part
of their lives in exchange for the return of health or the lost person.
Guilt
You may find yourself feeling guilty for things you did
or didn´t do prior to the loss. Forgive yourself. Accept your humanness.
Depression
You may at first experience a sense of great loss.
Mood fluctuations and feelings of isolation and withdrawal may follow. It takes
time for you to gradually return to your old self and become socially involved
in what´s going on around you. Please note that encouragement and reassurance
to the bereaved individual will not be helpful in this stage.
Loneliness
As you go through changes in your social life because
of the loss, you may feel lonely and afraid. The more you are able to reach
out to others and make new friends, the more this feeling lessens.
Acceptance
Acceptance does not mean happiness. Instead you accept
and deal with the reality of the situation.
Hope
Eventually you will reach a point where remembering will
be less painful and you can begin to look ahead to the future and more good
times.
Reprinted courtesy of “Counseling Center, Student Affairs,
SUNY Buffalo,” www.ub-counseling.buffalo.edu.
LINDQUIST
MORTUARIES/CEMETERIES
www.lindquistmortuary.com • (801)
394-6666
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