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A timely selection from My Care Letter, a free, monthly
publication from the funeral directors at Lindquist Mortuaries/Cemeteries.
1. Decide what you can handle comfortably and let family
and friends know.
Can I handle the responsibility of the family dinner, etc.,
or shall I ask someone else to do it? Do I want to talk about my loved one
or not? Shall I stay here for the holidays or go to a completely different
environment?
2. Make some changes if they feel comfortable for you.
Open
presents Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning. Vary the timing of Hanukkah
gift giving. Have dinner at a different time or place. Let the children take
over decorating the house, the tree, baking and food preparation, etc.
3. Re-examine your priorities: greeting cards, holiday baking,
decorating, putting up a tree, family dinner, etc.
Do I really enjoy doing this?
Is this a task that can be shared?
4. Consider doing something special for someone else.
Donate
a gift in the memory of your loved one. Donate money you would have spent on
your loved one as a gift to charity. Adopt a needy family for the holidays.
Invite a guest (foreign student or senior citizen) to share festivities.
5. Recognize your loved one´s
presence in the family.
Burn a
special candle to quietly include your loved one. Hang a stocking for your
loved one in which people can put notes with their thoughts or feelings. Listen
to music especially liked by the deceased. Look at photographs.
6. If you decide
to do holiday shopping, make a list aheadof time and keep it handy for a good
day, or shop through a catalogue.
7. Observe the holidays in ways which are comfortable for you.
There
is no right or wrong way of handling holidays. Once you´ve decided how to observe
the time, let others know.
8. Try to get enough rest—holidays
can be emotionally and physically draining.
9. Allow yourself to express your feelings.
Holidays often magnify
feelings of loss. It is natural to feel sadness. Share concerns, apprehensions,
feelings with a friend. The need for support is often greater during holidays.
10. Keep in mind that the experience of many bereaved persons
is that they do come to enjoy holidays again.
There will be other holiday seasons
to celebrate.
11. Don´t be afraid to have fun.
Laughter and joy are not disrespectful.
Give yourself and your family members permission to celebrate and take pleasure
in the holidays.
Reprinted courtesy of Rivendell Resources, www.griefnet.org, founded in 1995 by Cendra Lynn.
LINDQUIST
MORTUARIES/CEMETERIES
www.lindquistmortuary.com • (801)
394-6666
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